Before volunteering in Project Homeless Connect, the word “homeless” was something I thought had nothing to do with me. I’d never experienced homelessness in my life. Neither had I lived or worked with homeless people. Sometimes, when I saw an old man holding a board by roadside, saying “anything helps,” I would stop for a moment and look at him. But still, the idea of “homelessness” was so abstract to me that, besides knowing the man literally “doesn’t have a home,” I knew nothing more about him. I had no idea of what hardship had made him homeless and what he was living off. I couldn’t imagine what he thought of himself and how he made sense of life. My world and the world of the homeless were like two parallel lines that never went across each other. Participating in Project Homeless Connect, however, gave me a precious chance to gain firsthand experience interacting with homeless people and allowed me a peek into their world.
It was a typical sunny day in Denver. I got to the Ritchie Center around 8:10, where we were supposed to meet our clients arriving in 20 minutes. Wearing light-blue bilingual shirt, I was hoping to be paired up with a Chinese speaking client, though, as I discovered later, there were no Chinese, or Asians in general during the whole day. The first two buses arrived shortly. As people were getting off, I was surprised that many of them were in nice suits and dresses. “They are nice”, this was the first impression I got today, and it certainly didn’t go along with any of my previous ideas of homeless people. We were still waiting in line for the others buses and after another hour, I finally got to the front and met with my client, whom I would call Jeff.
Jeff was a nice, middle-aged man in a dark green jacket. He started the conversation by telling me how he discovered the PHC event by chance: He was walking back from Father Woody’s (a charity) after picking up some free food and drink when he saw a PHC flyer. As he was reading the fly, a yellow and black bus stopped by the road side and he was told this bus was right to the Project Homeless Connect. Considering he had nothing important today, Jeff jumped on the bus and got here. As we were walking to the Gates Field and prioritizing our schedule for today, Jeff declined brunch by saying “an old man doesn’t eat a lot.” He told me that he needed “nothing except a job” and he “loves working than anything else”. This was interesting as he didn’t look like homeless at all and I could never imagine someone being homeless would “love working than anything else.” Jeff told me that he used to have his own construction company and live a rather comfortable life. The reason he wanted a job was to rebuild his business and “win the 50,000 dollars back.” Since I was somewhat overwhelmed by his words, I was simply smiling without making any comment on his ambitions. Deep inside I was thinking him a little crazy, just like what Barbara thought of her co-worker when she told Barbara that she would make a lot of money in the future and live a wonderful life (Ehrenreich 2001).
As we were walking through the hallway I pointed to the housing area and told Jeff we might be able to find him a nice shelter there. Unexpectedly, he said in a light-hearted tone that he didn’t need a shelter because he preferred staying on the streets to living in smelly shelters. Again, I was surprised, especially when it was said by a 50-year-old man.
The first service area we aimed at was the ID/Certificate area, since Jeff needed a Bursar’s Certificate to “restart his business.” Things went smoothly, and after spending a few minutes talking with the lady, we got all the paper work done and Jeff was told to show up next week at the government office to get his certificate. We both didn’t expect it so successful and I congratulated Jeff at once. From the conversation Jeff had with the lady, I got to know more details about his career: he used to be a subcontractor of Safeway, doing wall painting, roof remodeling, janitorial and a lot more for the chain retail company. He used to have his own construction company. He hired quite a few people working for him…Jeff didn’t clarify what happened later – I guess it must be painful history that he didn’t want to mention – but it sounds like he was involved in some lawsuit and lost all his money. As he was talking about his “old glorious days,” Jeff was as excited as a veteran talking about Iraq. He used gestures, body movements, and almost stood up. It turned out that the ten-minute conversation became Jeff’s autobiographic speech and the lady and I were both listeners most of the time. Jeff told the lady his dream was to “get back to where I was,” because, as he said, “I love money. It makes me feel good, and I used to support eleven people.”
Jeff is the type of person that knows what he wants and sticks to it even when he is in adversity that seems totally hopeless to me. He keeps dreaming his dreams while he is living on the streets or waiting in line for food at Father Woody’s. Somehow he reminds me of Ragged Dick, the homeless youngest that always believes he will make his day. The only difference was, Jeff was already 48.
As previously said, Jeff wanted a job. So we moved on to the job-seeking section and found out that Jeff needed a resume first which he had never had in his life. The kind-hearted lady guided us to the Resume Lab where we could get Jeff a resume on-site. While we were waiting for help, I was watching doctors and medical workers doing body examination for people at the other side. As I turned back, I was surprised to find out that Jeff was quarreling with a young man and he was totally out of his temper. Fortunately the verbal conflict was put out in time before things became out of control. And when asked what led to the fight, for the first time, Jeff seemed discouraged and didn’t have much to say. Later after we sat down at the computer desk and began talking to the young lady who was helping us with the resume, Jeff told more of his story.
Worried that his past history would taint his resume, Jeff confessed the truth and told us what happened that ended his career. One of his employers hurt someone, and together with his business problems, Jeff was involved in a lawsuit and lost all his money. He ended up being in prison for a few years, during which time he had a terrible divorce with his wife. And it’s the reason he had the fight with that young man, who was his ex-wife’s nephew. I also learnt that Jeff had over 25-year experience working in construction and house remodeling. He got a vocational college diploma in house-building when he was in prison, which was extremely impressive. We generally think that homeless people are illiterate and poor educated. But in fact, many of them have had good education. Just as Avery writes in her field notes, “While working on his resume – one thing that he was ecstatic about – he mentioned a degree in printing… He told me he had gone to school for it, being one of five kids, he had to pay for it himself” (Denney 2009).
I was being constantly surprised by Jeff and his legendary stories. This time, he told us that he had got “518 relatives here in Colorado” and that’s why it’s “so easy to meet up with one of them.” His mother and his four sons were all living in Denver, too. In fact he could readily get himself out of homelessness by moving in with any one of them. Unlike most homeless people, to be homeless seems to be his own choice. “Everyone thinks I’m a loser,” he said, “and I’m the only homeless people in my family now.” In my opinion, he still couldn’t accept that fact that he had turned from helping others to receiving help and he was so obsessed with the “old days” that he couldn’t admit his failure. At the same time, he was the most pious believer in the American Dream that, as long as he worked hard, he could rise again. Jeff had such faith in himself that he believed he could come back to the height where he once was. I don't know why but somehow I found something on Jeff that Dick calls “spectable.”
I can’t remember how many times Jeff reminded me that he wanted to rise again, and each time, he said it in the same, serious tone. And each time the image of an ambitious old man who wanted to restore his “golden ages” added to my respect for him. He obviously deemed his business the most important thing in his life and it was exactly the reason that caused his homelessness. He had been taking care of others all his life and it was his mindset of being a “giver” rather than a “receiver”. He was so disappointed at himself that after he was released from prison he didn't go home. And I assume that he didn’t want a shelter for the same reason. In one article on homelessness, they conducted a survey and found out that “neighborhood concentrated poverty had little direct effect” on people optimism about life. The study also suggests that “While neighborhood poverty was relevant, other indicators were more directly significant in explaining the attitudes and behavior under consideration.” Living in poverty doesn’t necessarily mean that Jeff has to behave hopeless and despondent. It is other factors, his past experience, his knowledge and skills, and his character that determine how he acts and what he believes in. The American Dream was deep in the bottom of Jeff’s heart.
According to Sandra Barnes, the American Dream may be “considered an ‘opiate’, and such persons may be considered dupes for embracing an ideology that may result in disappointment and unmet dreams.” My sympathy for Jeff also comes from the same aspect, “What if he couldn’t achieve his goals?” He is respectable for his perseverance and diligence, but the realities, his age, the economic situation, etc., make me doubt the possibility that he could succeed. However, Barnes also argues that “This optimism, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, is a hallmark belief in our society and a central motivator for persons with goals and aspirations.” The American Dream has already been part of the American national identity that is more or less found in every American. It has been inscribed to the history of this country. The book Ragged Dick is by no means a non-fictional novel, however, it has succeeded in causing resonance among readers in its story and gained great popularity by awakening the deep-rooted “American Dream” in every American. In turn the story of Jeff proves that the story of Dick can be true. Poor and homeless people can still have hope and be optimistic as long as they have faith. And Barbara’s co-work is not ridiculous at all when she said she would break into the middle class in the future. From another perspective, their dreams are based their competence and skills that many homeless people have. They are often undervalued of their capacity, if I hadn’t spent half a day with Jeff, I would not know his expertise in house construction and company management. Suzanne in her notes has documented the same thing, “Furthermore, as I got to know my client better, I realized how intelligent he truly was and is. He taught me about archeology while we were waiting to get his hair cut” (Allbright 2009). Observing the American Dream embodied among the homeless is crucial to understand the mentality of this large population in this country. By examining their needs, our society can build better services that can assist them thrive.
As we eventually arrived at the job fair area, Jeff spotted Brown Brothers at the corner and went up at once. It’s a construction company that built roads, factories, houses and almost anything of bricks and concrete. It was a perfect job for Jeff, and obviously his working experience made him a desired employee. After filling out all the application forms, we got out the crowd and found a place to sit down. Jeff started to tell stories from his “old times,” and when he was talking about his family and how they used to live together happily, I could see something called hope in his eye. I always remember what Jeff told me at the phone company desk in the job fair, “$14 an hour is too little for me.”
Alger, H. (1868). Ragged Dick. New York: Penguin Books.
Ehrenreich, B. (2001). Nickel and Dimed. New York: Owl Books.
Denny. A. (2009). Field Notes. Retrieved May 08, 2009, from http://writ113301spring2009.blogspot.com/2009/04/field-notes-from-project-homeless.html#comments
Allbright, S. (2009). Field Notes. Retrieved May 08, 2009, from http://writ113301spring2009.blogspot.com/2009/04/field-notes-from-project-homeless.html#comments
Barnes, S & Jaret, C. (2003). The “American Dream” in Poor Urban Neighborhood. Sociological Focus, 36-3,219-239.
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